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Pet Grief

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Losing a beloved pet is emotionally shattering; it is natural to be overwhelmed by feelings of sadness when you suffer from pet grief.

There is nothing to prepare you for the loss or the cyclone of feelings that follow the death of a Pet who was a loving companion. Pet grief can feel simply devastating.

Many people see their pets as a member of the family. They can bring so much joy, love, fun and companionship to our lives that it can feel as if your world has been turned upside and emptied out when a pet dies.

Pet grief is the price we pay for love.

 

Experiencing loss is, sadly, an inevitable part of pet ownership, however, there are helpful and healthy ways to help you to cope with pet grief.

  • Grief is personal to you, there is no right or wrong way to feel when you’re suffering from pet grief, so don’t be ashamed of how you feel.
  • Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, including yourself. Allow yourself to feel angry or sad without any judgement.
  • Hold a funeral if you want to – ignore those who disagree or think it’s inappropriate; do what is right for you.
  • Look after yourself and your other pets who may be distressed from the loss of their companion and /or your sorrow. Increasing their exercise and playtime will benefit them and also help to lift your outlook.
  • Try to eat properly, get enough sleep and take some exercise. Paying attention to your emotional and physical needs will help you as you go through this difficult time. Exercise will help to boost your mood, no matter how little you feel like doing it.
  • Speak to someone who has experienced the loss of a beloved pet – it may be that family members and friends simply don’t understand how important your pet was to you. It can hurt terribly when someone devalues your loss.
  • Talking to someone who appreciates how huge your loss is and what pet grief feels like will probably help more than trying to explain it to someone who hasn’t known the companionship and love that a pet can provide.

This is a time to be gentle with yourself and don’t forget that there is an abundance of support and professional help if you need it.

 

There is no need to suffer pet grief by yourself.

 

Therapy for jealousy

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Jealousy can feel like we are losing our hold

Therapy for jealousy and emotional issues. These can be helped by individual therapy in a safe and supportive setting

Jealousy, something (often secretly) familiar to many of us. Jealousy and Envy (yes, they are different things, envy occurs when we lack a desired attribute enjoyed by someone else and jealousy when something we already possess is threatened by a third person) can both be very intense feelings that in turn can easily dominate aspects of our lives. Another problem is that they can be as hard to shift as they are to deal with, and often are not talked about or discussed.

Jealousy can destroy love, and it’s rare to find someone who hasn’t been touched by the classic signs of jealousy such as lack of trust, fear of losing someone we love, or anger at attention paid to others. When it comes, that intensity of emotion can render rational thinking impossible and even cause behaviours in the sufferer that drive people away and reinforce the self-fulfilling prophecy.

The emotional content of jealousy is complex, abandonment, loss, fear, sorrow, humiliation, betrayal; the list is long and infamous. Even violence can make an unwelcome appearance where jealousy is concerned, and it can be as irrational as it is damaging, Steven Stosny, a psychologist says, “The formula for jealousy, is an insecure person times an insecure relationship” and goes on to point out that it isn’t just sexual jealousy at play, sometimes children or any kind of friendship that diverts attention from the sufferer can be a problem.

With origins based in our far-distant evolution, perhaps to protect intimate relationships, in our current lives where we may change partners several times in the course of a lifetime, jealousy can become a painful burden. The feeling of inadequacy makes it seem a particularly poignant and difficult burden.

So, what can be done? Well, like many things, communication is often at the root of the solution, jealousy is often something we deny in ourselves so just recognising and acknowledging it are also important steps. It’s often too personal and complex for a list of self-help suggestions as seem to be so common in our culture that demands quick fixes. Jealousy isn’t something we can cast off like an unwanted coat when spring comes, it’s a treatment process, and moving beyond jealousy is a skill that often takes a little time to learn.

Having said that, as is so often the case, people can travel through life with often debilitating levels of jealousy, accepting that as their fate. Surely, if you’re affected, it’s worth taking some steps now to hopefully improve the quality of life and relationships still to come…?