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Summer SAD?

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Summer SAD? It seems that summer is here. We’ve had a lot of glorious sunshine with little rain at all for a while and lighter evenings.

When I start to think about summer generally, I have a number of loosely connected thoughts

  • Will we have a real summer? Endless dry sunny days with a hosepipe ban?!
  • If I bring the barbecue outside will it jinx the weather? Like it did last year and it wasn’t lit once due to incessant rain, sorry neighbours
  • Will the sun make us all feel happier?

That last question seems to be the big one for a lot of us.

Happiness and sunshine just seem to go together. Walking down the road or through the park, when it’s sunny there seems to be more people smiling and everything just seems better.

There have been countless studies and years of research into how weather affects us and the results aren’t necessarily what we’d imagine.

“Humidity, temperature, and hours of sunshine had the greatest effect on mood…….As the number of hours of sunshine increased, optimism scores also increased’ Howard and Hoffman(1984)

And yet… Summer, not just in Bolton, isn’t necessarily the happiest time of the year, you can find yourself summer SAD.

According to one study, if the weather is too warm and humid, people suffer from lethargy, low mood and a lack of affection whilst levels of violence and aggression rise.

Researchers argue back and forth that summer is or isn’t a happy season.

What we do know is that the weather has been proven to affect people’s moods and emotions. Just how much it affects us varies from person to person. The time of year and amount of available daylight is not significant.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a very real condition characterised by feelings of sadness, depression and negative thoughts.

SAD isn’t, as is usually believed, specific to the winter months when temperatures drop and the days shorten. Some people, although a minority, experience SAD during Spring and Summer months too.

It’s helpful to remember that even if the weather doesn’t go according to plan – I can’t remember when we last had a white Christmas, can you? – WE can be adaptable and change our plans rather than let the lack of sunshine ruin our day.

Help for seasonal affective disorder, depression, low mood or anxiety is here for you all year round, so don’t suffer in silence or feel like you’re alone or you ‘should’ be happy when you’re not.

If you’re summer SAD, contact me here for further help or advice on any of the issues mentioned in this blog.

Oh, and if you fire up the barbecue this summer, maybe turn the oven on too, just in case.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Therapy for jealousy

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Jealousy can feel like we are losing our hold

Therapy for jealousy and emotional issues. These can be helped by individual therapy in a safe and supportive setting

Jealousy, something (often secretly) familiar to many of us. Jealousy and Envy (yes, they are different things, envy occurs when we lack a desired attribute enjoyed by someone else and jealousy when something we already possess is threatened by a third person) can both be very intense feelings that in turn can easily dominate aspects of our lives. Another problem is that they can be as hard to shift as they are to deal with, and often are not talked about or discussed.

Jealousy can destroy love, and it’s rare to find someone who hasn’t been touched by the classic signs of jealousy such as lack of trust, fear of losing someone we love, or anger at attention paid to others. When it comes, that intensity of emotion can render rational thinking impossible and even cause behaviours in the sufferer that drive people away and reinforce the self-fulfilling prophecy.

The emotional content of jealousy is complex, abandonment, loss, fear, sorrow, humiliation, betrayal; the list is long and infamous. Even violence can make an unwelcome appearance where jealousy is concerned, and it can be as irrational as it is damaging, Steven Stosny, a psychologist says, “The formula for jealousy, is an insecure person times an insecure relationship” and goes on to point out that it isn’t just sexual jealousy at play, sometimes children or any kind of friendship that diverts attention from the sufferer can be a problem.

With origins based in our far-distant evolution, perhaps to protect intimate relationships, in our current lives where we may change partners several times in the course of a lifetime, jealousy can become a painful burden. The feeling of inadequacy makes it seem a particularly poignant and difficult burden.

So, what can be done? Well, like many things, communication is often at the root of the solution, jealousy is often something we deny in ourselves so just recognising and acknowledging it are also important steps. It’s often too personal and complex for a list of self-help suggestions as seem to be so common in our culture that demands quick fixes. Jealousy isn’t something we can cast off like an unwanted coat when spring comes, it’s a treatment process, and moving beyond jealousy is a skill that often takes a little time to learn.

Having said that, as is so often the case, people can travel through life with often debilitating levels of jealousy, accepting that as their fate. Surely, if you’re affected, it’s worth taking some steps now to hopefully improve the quality of life and relationships still to come…?