Therapy of dreaming

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Therapy of dreaming… sounds odd perhaps?

Well, Freud called dreaming ‘the royal road to the subconscious’ 

We forget dreams when we wake up, and there’s a reason for this, and that is to prevent us confusing them with reality.

I remember reading from a biography of Keith Richards about the fact that he used to keep by his bed a tape recorder to record guitar riffs that came to him in his dreams. The story is that the riff to satisfaction was recorded in one of these night sessions, and he had completely forgotten that he had written it until he listened back to it on the tape recorder.

It’s this idea of Christopher Bollas’s ‘unthought known’ a phrase he coined from Freud who reported a patient saying something ‘ to the effect that he had always known something but he had never thought of it.’

How many unthought knowns do you recognise in your own thinking? Those things on the edge of awareness or consciousness.

The science is therefore that dreams are the brain’s way of creating solutions to problems. That when we sleep, we process, much the same as we do in hypnosis.

The science supports this…

In dreams, if the smell of rotten eggs is sprayed into the nose of smokers directly after the smell of cigarettes, they will feel less of an urge to smoke.

PTSD sufferers have noticed a lessening of symptoms in the waking state after positive smells were introduced after trauma triggers during sleep.

So this is further evidence that memories are malleable, that they are changed as they are used, that they can be overridden.

And most importantly that they are interwoven with dreams and dream content.

A little science can serve to underpin the art of working with for example dream interpretation or dreaming in trance or the idea of the subconscious as a benevolent problem solver.

If we accept the principle of the subconscious or unconscious mind, then the therapy of dreaming must surely be worth a little more exploration?

 

Anxious thoughts

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Anxious thoughts can be a problem when self-reflection gets out of hand and becomes negative rumination.

As a health professional I accept that the Mental Health Foundation place this issue as a cause of anxiety and depression.

In 2013 the University of Liverpool published a study that  said that rumination (a word for constant repetitive thinking or dwelling that comes from the action in cows of chewing the cud) far from being a player in the most common mental health issues, is the largest predictor.

So what does this mean for us? It means that when we dwell on things, not only do our thoughts tend to spiral downwards but that can lead us to poor mental health.

This will come as no surprise to therapists, but the extent may. Most therapists see the link between persistent negative thought and self-blame and anxiety and depression, but as a causative factor?

It also means that psychological issues can lead to problems at a mental health level. Replaying thoughts over and over again makes us sad and anxious.

There is also evidence that rumination is at play in OCD and eating disorders, in fact anywhere our negative thoughts are stuck on repeat, we find the potential for problems.

So… what can we do about it?

Well firstly, we can learn to relax. Relaxation is often the key in early therapy to opening up the space into which the client can grow and change can be made.

Think about the amount of time that anxious thoughts or worried thoughts take up, or as some say, the amount of space they rent in your head. With all that time and energy freed up, what would you be able to do?

After that, we can look at the sense of threat that generally underpins anxiety, often being able to identify that threat can help us move forward to explore it and perhaps re-frame it or find ways to cope with it.

Please don’t think that anxious thoughts, constant thought repetition or rumination are something that you have to ‘put up with’ or suffer. If you need help to overcome these patterns, then please reach out to a professional.

 

 

Tinnitus relief

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Tinnitus relief is a subject close to my heart and one that I am passionate about.

This week I have been invited to present and advise again at the Bolton Tinnitus Support Group which is a truly wonderful organisation. They help tinnitus sufferers to cope with the symptoms and the difficulties that often come along with the diagnosis.

It will be no surprise that people with tinnitus can get anxious and depressed, but it may be a surprise to know that these three issues can be chicken and egg. One thing is certain though, that tinnitus is a subjective issue which is sensitive to mood.

It’s similar to pain in that way, a subjective perception which is worse at some times and less so at others. Often when the person is distracted or absorbed (what psychology calls ‘flow state’) then the symptoms are less noticeable.

In therapy we can access states of relaxation which we call ‘resource states’. When someone is relaxed, they can’t be anxious at the same time so accessing such a state of relaxed being is an early aim of tinnitus relief.

After that, then ‘anchoring’ the resource state can allow the person to bring on that feeling of relaxation when needed by triggering a subconscious memory of it. In times of stress, this is an empowering tool for the client.

It’s often about learning to manage the symptoms and that has behavioural elements of environment and thought as well as wider elements of meaning and perception.

All of these layers of the onion, we can work on peeling in the therapy room, working towards finding your peace.

The feeling of being worn down by the tinnitus is something I also often hear and this is what can lead to low mood. Again, in therapy relief can be gained by re-framing and building emotional resilience.

If you want to discuss further then, please contact me from my website Talking-Cure

Money worries

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Money worries and financial insecurity are another often hidden issue. There can be links to self-esteem and the need to be very careful about how money is spent.

While this is a different situation to someone who may have heavy debts or spend too much, it is still an issue. I see in clients that often anxiety can stretch to include worrying about security or even begin there. Constant checking, planning and looking to the future.

The fear of losing a job.

Many people see money as security but it can also be many other things.

Money can be a reward, a replacement for love, a punishment, a tool to inflict pain, the list goes on….

It’s also important to realise that how we feel in relation to money can have nothing to do with how much we have in the bank. Some very wealthy people can concern themselves with money, money, money.

Decisions about money can also cause anxiety, and therefore add to it. It can be a battleground in the mind that is constant, which is the right way to go? Can I spend on this treat?

Sometimes the opposite, ‘I deserve it’ and then regret buying it afterwards.

Viktor Frankl saw the will to money as a basic form of the will to power, caused by an existential vacuum.

We live in a society that sees shopping as a form of therapy, but is it…?

Often money worries as a source of anxiety and depression go unspoken. Sufferers don’t tell partners, parents, GPs and the worry is turned inward which increases the sense of isolation and stress.

All I suggest is that we don’t discount money from the discussion about anxious thinking and suffering.

The ‘if I win the lottery’ fantasy keeps clients deeply rooted in the future, ignoring the mindfulness of today.

In therapy, we can look at what money means to you, and then start to look at what the threat is that is driving the anxiety. Re-framing is very important, challenging the rigid black and white thinking.

Most importantly, let’s not let money worries become money anxiety…

 

Gambling addiction Bolton

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Gambling addiction Bolton people will be sad to know, now affects a quarter of the young male population. This is the finding of a study from the University of Bristol into men aged eighteen to twenty-four.

There was a higher likelihood of problems in those with depression or addictions to drugs or alcohol.

High  levels of being exposed to gambling in this generation (which is the first to have grown up with internet gambling) are thought to have led to the issue.

Unlike smoking or addiction to other substances, gambling addiction is more likely to cause mental health issues. There is also, worryingly a link to depression and anxiety.

A Royal College of Psychiatrists spokesperson has called for GPs to be aware of gambling addiction as a possibility in patients presenting with addiction problems and low mood.

So do I see clients with this problem? Yes, and are they mainly young men, again yes.

Whilst it’s a little early to call for a gambling addiction Bolton specific survey, if Bristol has this problem… Then so does much of the rest of the country.

Using hypnotherapy and psychotherapy the compulsion to gamble can be treated as can other addictions like online addiction. Internet addiction can also be linked to gambling addiction because we gamble more and more online.

Of the clients I see, there is a mixed bag of online and high street betting but smartphones have led to much easier access and therefore to almost 24 hour exposure in some cases.

There are also self-esteem and anxiety issues alongside gambling. Sometimes the need to ‘win back’ the money and the failure to do so directly affect the person’s self-image.

So , let’s be aware of the possibility of this issue in friends, family and loved ones. It’s another of those issues that can be viewed as shameful and hidden.

There is no need to hide it, let’s deal with it and improve our lives.

Bolton mental health update

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Bolton mental health update is a quick look back over the last 5 years since I moved back to Bolton.

Although not from there, I went to Bolton School so I made friends and connections in the town. When Talking Cure was set up it was my aim to provide specialist expert psychotherapy and hypnotherapy based in the town.

As a UKCP psychotherapist, CNHC hypnotherapist and psychologist, I take self-referrals, GP referrals and clients from BUPA and other major insurers. It’s been an interesting and enjoyable five years and I think it’s interesting to take a snapshot as to what Boltonians seem to struggle with most, hence the idea for a Bolton mental health update came about.

As you might expect worry, anxiety, generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) and panic attack issues are high on the list. It isn’t surprising, we live ever more frantic lives, ever faster, more information and more pressure.

When perceived demands are greater than perceived ability to cope then we can slip into anxious thought patterns. If left untreated, these can worsen and may lead to depression. Many of the clients I see need some help to re-frame their lives or challenges.

Teaching them to relax and building self-esteem and emotional resilience lie at the heart of treatment. The interesting thing about anxiety is that it is impossible to be anxious and relaxed at the same time.

If you can learn to switch on relaxation you can switch off anxiety.

From there, in therapy, we work to examine the reasons behind the negative thought patterns in the first place. Using a selection of techniques and psychological interventions, often with hypnosis, a change happens.

So, if I was asked to give you one thing that troubles the mental health of Bolton, I would say anxiety underpins most issues.

My own experience with panic attacks and anxiety is what led me to learn to help others. Now I specialise in anxiety and offer therapy face to face and online, partnering with some charities to improve reach.

I’ll keep you posted as to how things develop.

Best

Stuart

 

 

 

 

self-esteem

Emotional Intelligence

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Emotional Intelligence?

What is it and how do we improve it?

We are all unique, all of our personalities are different and we have differing wants and needs. 

Some people have the ability to make you feel at ease as soon as you meet them, in any situation, either social or professional.

Others, not so much. 

Who are the people who we’re inclined to feel at ease with, and who we find ourselves gravitating toward?

They tend to be people with a great deal of emotional  intelligence.

Emotional intelligence (EI), regarded as being more important than IQ, is a complex quality. However, it can be learned.

EI is key to relating well to others; awareness of your own actions and feelings and how they affect others.

It definitely helps you to go through life more easily than someone who is quick to anger, gets upset or refuses to view themselves honestly.

Emotional Intelligence is

The ability to identify and therefore understand your emotions

Knowing how to manage your emotions in a positive way in order to

  • relieve stress
  • communicate effectively
  • diffuse conflicts

The ability to recognise what others are experiencing emotionally. It therefore allows you to understand and manage relationships effectively.

A process that, although non-verbal, will inform your thinking and influence how you connect.

There are several elements that define emotional intelligence:

Self Awareness

Being honest with yourself and acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses.

Understand your own emotions and therefore trust your intuition.

Be in control yourself rather than controlled by your feelings. 

Self Regulation 

Be able to control your emotions and consequently resist being impulsive.

People who self-regulate will think before acting,  don’t jump in with both feet and learn how to say no.

Empathy

Learning how to identify the wants and needs of others is especially relevant . People with empathy don’t rush to judge or stereotype.

Be able to recognise the feelings of others helps relationship skills.

Motivation

A high level of motivation leads to being productive, effective, hence able to enjoy life’s challenges.  

Social Skills

People with strong social skills are easy to talk to. People with good social skills find the building and maintaining of relationships easy and pleasurable.

They are keen to develop others and view a team achievement as more important than their own individual success.

How can you improve your Emotional Intelligence?

Pay attention to your emotions, they are valid. Learn to recognise them.

When you make decisions, integrate your emotions into the process.

Be present. Be here.  Don’t plan ahead or look behind.

Be aware of your body language and the signals you send others.

Happiness

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Happiness comes in so many different guises that its really difficult to pin down exactly what makes up happy.

Unhappiness, well we know this immediately. We know what it looks and feels like. We know when it has us in it’s grasp.

Studies show that happiness has little to do with our own life circumstances. This is because happiness is mainly under our control. We synthesise it ourselves. So we either create it or we don’t.

Happiness is a product of our outlook on life.

Happiness – Learn What Makes You Happy

Discovering what works for you is of the utmost importance! Making happiness for yourself is good for your health as well as your performance in all areas of life. 

Here are just a few points, they may seem glaringly obvious but it’s surprising how much difference each one can make to our general happiness.

Exercise (I know I’ve been here before but it’s so important!) 

Movement, even a ten minute walk, lifts the mood and reduces anxiety, it is good for your head as well as your body.   

Maintaining your personal values.

Heeding your moral compass and standing your ground, in all of your relationships will therefore prevent feelings of regret and dissatisfaction.

Don’t worry about things beyond your control. There is a huge difference between being informed about/understanding world events and worrying about them. 

Sleeping well. The restorative power of sleep is well documented. We all know how lacklustre we feel if we don’t have enough sleep. 

When you’re asleep your brain literally detoxes and  recharges itself after the day’s activities. 

Not making sleep a priority means stress hormone levels rise and energy, motivation and memory all reduce. 

Improve your emotional intelligence.

Happy people do tend to have emotional intelligence as part of their skill set. Here’s a great link showing the importance of EI. 

Believe in the future.

Collect happiness memories but don’t fall into the trap of magnifying past pleasures so much that the present feels poor. Don’t lose faith in the promise of the future, you can out perform past experiences and as a result be happier.

Believe that the best is yet to come. 

Future Anxiety

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Future Anxiety – do you live in the future?

I do. Sometimes. We all do, sometimes.

I used to live there much more, with all of the things I would have as well as all the places I would visit, the houses I would live in. There was a big long list in my head. 

I was very ambitious; I still am truth be told, but I had a slowly dawning realisation that I was almost solely focused on the future.

What I would do there? What things would I have there? 

The more plans I made and goals I set, I realised that my overall feeling was future anxiety:

This is future anxiety – ‘Today, this hour, this minute, is not good enough. I have none of the things I want and am working towards, therefore I’m not happy. Also I won’t be happy until I achieve a long (and possibly never ending) list of ‘wants’

You can see that I was blind to everything that I already have.

Can we be happy with what we already have?

Making a conscious effort in addition to realise just how beautiful life already is, bringing awareness to the ‘little things’ helped me become happier.

“Five Minutes to Happiness” (Maxwell Maltz) was first published in 1962. A book written to help us learn the art of being happy.

Since then, many pages have been written about how we can be happier.  

The main gist is focusing on the good stuff, appreciating that which you have and being grateful for it. 

Making a list of just five things you’re grateful for may seem an odd way to help future anxiety. It’s not about what’s on the list, don’t judge yourself. It could be chocolate ice-cream, it could also be knowing that you’re family is fit and well. 

Just come up with five things

A nice meal maybe – it might’ve been a great salad or an enormous burger- remember not to judge.

No rain today.

Walking through the park first thing this morning perhaps.

Meeting a friend, for a particularly great cup of coffee.

Your health – even if you have a bad cold, perhaps you can be grateful that it’s not worse!

In addition, studies have shown that after making a nightly list for just one week happiness grows.

By doing this small, simple exercise you are retraining your brain to notice the good things, the positives. 

You start to look out for them as well as register them when they happen. 

Then you can enjoy and appreciate them all over again when you add them to your list. 

Caffeine panic

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Caffeine panic – about 10 years ago now I cut caffeine from my diet.

Apart from a three day headache there seemed little effect at the time but I did it because I believed it would make things calmer in the long run, and on reflection, it did.

Although I can’t remember the hour or the day things felt different, they do.

It’s conspicuous by its absence caffeine.

Most people ingest a couple of hundred milligrams of this stimulant each day. The jury is out on what are the best levels, but as with many things, I think it depends on the individual.

For the anxious, it can make things a lot worse, and the anxious individual’s sensitivity is heightened.

This happens because caffeine mimics panic symptoms, it can make you jittery, nervous, filled with dread, irritable and restless. Caffeine can actually induce panic attacks.

Caffeine panic – It was this feeling of empty uneasiness and restlessness that I wondered about, and what had been causing it.

That’s the feeling that years later I no longer carry around with me.

Some symptoms of a Panic Attack include sweating, fast or irregular heartbeat, difficulty breathing, digestive issues. Also, it can bring on a feeling of dread, unreality, pins and needles, even chest pain. (APA, 2014)

Guess what? Caffeine can cause fast or irregular heartbeat, diarrhoea, racing thoughts, fast breathing, nausea, sweating… you get the picture, I’m sure.

Caffeine stimulates the central nervous system, the most commonly used psychoactive drug in the world. This is why we pay so much for it in Starbucks. It makes you alert, keeps you awake.

It can be natural or synthetic and is found in some unlikely foods and drinks, so if you are worried about caffeine panic and are anxious, then perhaps look at your consumption of chocolate, coffee, cola, tea and medicines and start to see where it is (Lucozade anyone?).

Are you struggling with anxiety, panic or stress levels?

Maybe have a look at whether that pick-me-up little helper is actually a part of the issue