Hypnosis not for TV

hypnotherapy is a natural and healthy state of deep relaxation

Hypnosis not for TV but for clinical settings

Hypnosis is not for TV. “You’re back in the room”; ITV’s latest game show which features contestants being hypnotised by “master hypnotist” Keith Barry and longtime presenter Philip Schofield begins this weekend.

For decades, the hypnotherapy profession has worked hard to legitimise itself and leave the parlour trick stage hypnosis image in the past. With so much research into the efficacy of hypnosis in medical and psychological worlds, the public is now to be treated to ridiculous tricks performed by people most likely role playing and making hypnosis appear to be more magical than empirical.

Now, some in the public (and sadly some in the profession) will see a programme like this as a bit of fun and nothing to become agitated over. Some might even see this programme as positive press for hypnosis. I, however, see this programme as something very different.

In my practice, as with many other professionals, all the people I work with have genuine issues that they want to change. The decision to see a hypnotherapist is not always an easy one due to the portrayal of hypnosis as being some odd occult practice. When a person seeks out a mental health professional they are not looking for a sideshow act.

As professionals it is our duty to put the welfare of our clients and potential clients at the forefront of everything we do. This programme is potentially detrimental to them and so we must speak out. Programmes like this give a false idea of what hypnosis is, and I call upon all my fellow professionals and those with an interest in mental health to take to social media to voice your disquiet about this extremely tasteless and damaging form of entertainment. Let the public know what hypnosis is used for therapeutically and how programmes like this set the profession back in recognition terms, by years.

Remember there are no stage surgeons and there is a good reason for that, they are health care professionals who are take client care seriously. Should hypnotherapists see their profession in any less of a light?

Therapy for jealousy

Jealousy can feel like we are losing our hold

Therapy for jealousy and emotional issues. These can be helped by individual therapy in a safe and supportive setting

Jealousy, something (often secretly) familiar to many of us. Jealousy and Envy (yes, they are different things, envy occurs when we lack a desired attribute enjoyed by someone else and jealousy when something we already possess is threatened by a third person) can both be very intense feelings that in turn can easily dominate aspects of our lives. Another problem is that they can be as hard to shift as they are to deal with, and often are not talked about or discussed.

Jealousy can destroy love, and it’s rare to find someone who hasn’t been touched by the classic signs of jealousy such as lack of trust, fear of losing someone we love, or anger at attention paid to others. When it comes, that intensity of emotion can render rational thinking impossible and even cause behaviours in the sufferer that drive people away and reinforce the self-fulfilling prophecy.

The emotional content of jealousy is complex, abandonment, loss, fear, sorrow, humiliation, betrayal; the list is long and infamous. Even violence can make an unwelcome appearance where jealousy is concerned, and it can be as irrational as it is damaging, Steven Stosny, a psychologist says, “The formula for jealousy, is an insecure person times an insecure relationship” and goes on to point out that it isn’t just sexual jealousy at play, sometimes children or any kind of friendship that diverts attention from the sufferer can be a problem.

With origins based in our far-distant evolution, perhaps to protect intimate relationships, in our current lives where we may change partners several times in the course of a lifetime, jealousy can become a painful burden. The feeling of inadequacy makes it seem a particularly poignant and difficult burden.

So, what can be done? Well, like many things, communication is often at the root of the solution, jealousy is often something we deny in ourselves so just recognising and acknowledging it are also important steps. It’s often too personal and complex for a list of self-help suggestions as seem to be so common in our culture that demands quick fixes. Jealousy isn’t something we can cast off like an unwanted coat when spring comes, it’s a treatment process, and moving beyond jealousy is a skill that often takes a little time to learn.

Having said that, as is so often the case, people can travel through life with often debilitating levels of jealousy, accepting that as their fate. Surely, if you’re affected, it’s worth taking some steps now to hopefully improve the quality of life and relationships still to come…?

Change in therapy

Clients often dwell in the past or live in the future, mindfulness can help with focus as one of many benefits

Clients often dwell in the past or live in the future, mindfulness can help with focus as one of many benefits

 

Change in therapy, one common denominator is clients often seeks a big change, rather than gradual shifts into change, we can make ourselves mountains to climb. We’re most of us familiar with the famous Chinese quote from Laozi “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” and this is how the guides tell us to effect change, bit by bit. In a world of instant gratification however, this is less appealing than the idea of announcing to the world (or ourselves) that we are suddenly different in a big way, a dramatic way.

For some of course, who are ready for change, it can be a resounding success, for others we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment when those old familiar patterns creep back in. Patterns are a big part of how we live, and of course are often a big part of how those around perceive us, and therefore predict our behaviour. Most people aren’t fond of change, but many want it.

The science of change, habits, addictions and patterns, is far too big and complex to even touch upon here, but that’s just a repetition of the ‘oh it’s no use, it can’t be done’ mantra that appeases the slip back on the seemingly endless path into ‘changed forever’. So I say this, consider the effects of that change, that potential small step.

When we change one thing that means other things change as a result.

You get off a plane after a few hours to a blue sea and sun, your mood changes. You serve up breakfast in bed, you get a great big smile, someone else’s mood changes, so your mood changes, and on it goes… One thing affects another and before you know it, your small change has taken you somewhere completely different. One of my old lecturers used to call it the M62 (an English highway) principle, a turn off begins by diverging only a tiny bit from the route and before you know it, you’re on a radically different path, and that’s it, evolution and not revolution.

So maybe don’t dismiss that small change as not enough, or if you’ve made a big resolution that has fallen by the wayside but leaves a fragment of its intent or meaning to germinate on fertile ground, then maybe make that your focus, tend it, nurture it and see where that beanstalk leads you.

‘Changes aren’t permanent, but change is’ (thanks to Neil Peart for that quote).

Stress and anxiety

 

Man suffering from stress and anxiety

Man suffering from stress and anxiety

Stress and anxiety, we all know the effects, we recognise the all too familiar signs… be it sleepless nights, waking up in the dead of night, drinking or smoking to excess, headaches, bad-tempers, repetitive thinking or habits, or even full blown panic attacks with the associated frightening physical symptoms. If panic strikes, the result can be physically and mentally very scary. The thing that we don’t all know, is that something can be done to help and crucially, before we get to that stage.

We all need some stress, but it helps if we can recognise the type of stress. ‘Eustress’ as it is called is the type of stress that benefits us, the type of stress that pushes us to go that little bit further, to achieve, the type of stress that readies us for exams or business presentations, or for any occasion where we need to perform at our best.

Then there is bad stress. The problems with the bad type of stress ‘Distress’, come when demands on us exceed our perceived abilities and then when stress builds, anxiety can often accompany it. We pop a painkiller, or we lose ourselves in the T.V. or a glass of wine, temporary fixes, but there is another way.

If we can’t change the pressures on us, then we can certainly change how we react to them, and more importantly our perception of them. This has many benefits; firstly, the unpleasant and worrying effects of stress are lessened so that we can enjoy life more. Secondly, we can improve our physical health, lower blood pressure, heart rate etc. and thirdly, we are building a set of skills that will allow us to deal better with stress in the future, because we understand it. This in turn allows us to be the best version of ourselves that we can be… for us and for our loved ones.

At Talking-Cure I teach these coping skills, how to turn down the intensity from red to amber to green, how to relax, how to increase energy levels and cope with the pressures that modern life throws at us. By giving ourselves the ability to deal with stress and anxiety before they become crisis issues, we are taking a preventative path rather than looking for a cure. As we have touched on before, this is a fresh and positive approach to well-being, and the benefits in quality of life and saving in lost productivity can literally be enjoyed by anyone with the desire to take the necessary steps, we see it as an investment in your future.

Social Media problems

Addiction to social media, internet addiction and self-esteem are sometimes closely linked

Addiction to social media, internet addiction and self-esteem are sometimes closely linked

Social media problems examined. Social media has changed our world in many ways; it has brought pleasure, connection, re-united people and re-ignited old friendships. Recent research commissioned by Unilever however (in which a thousand women were surveyed and compared to a similar sample from 2004)  found some less than savoury effects of Facebook, Twitter and the like. In the findings, more than half of the participants reported that seeing photos of friends made them feel worse about their own bodies.

Another very surprising result was that ten years ago, 75% of the women surveyed reported that the media set ‘unrealistic’ standards of beauty, but that figure has now dropped to only 66%. So what’s going on, and why is it a concern? Is there resigned acceptance of the unrealistic standards, or is the pressure that society and the media places on us to look a certain way having a potentially damaging effect over time?

Low self-esteem is a very real problem for many of us, and the sometimes debilitating effects of low self-esteem are at the forefront of those issues that many people tolerate unnecessarily, and which reduce their quality of life on a daily basis.

It’s a changing and ever more competitive world in which we live and one where it seems that our friends have the highest influence over our idea of beauty. That pressure can cause anxiety, jealousy or any of a number of emotional or thought issues. This is why here at Talking-Cure we take the influence of social media in our lives very seriously, and we see ever-increasing levels of the effects that internet exposure can have on our clients. In our view, although the end results of these pressures are often the same, the causes are changing with each generation and as therapists we need to rise to meet these challenges.

So, if you find yourself struggling with any of the issues above, or any other problem which may be related to exposure to social media or the use of the internet generally, then please do not hesitate to pick up the phone and speak to us here at Talking-Cure.

Smokers Aren’t Stupid

Smoking cessation with Stuart Cale of Talking-Cure is an effective and tailored hypnotherapy treatment

Smokers aren’t stupid

smokers aren’t stupid, seems a controversial statement that doesn’t it? But ask yourself why? Why is it that society and non-smokers treat people who smoke as if they are stupid? In this day and age, everyone who smokes is aware of the risks, it’s impossible not to be, there are reminders on every cigarette packet, on billboards, T.V, almost everywhere we turn. In society, smokers are ostracised, segregated, labelled and branded, but people still do it.

 

Ask almost any smoker if, knowing what they know now, they could go back in time, would they still make the same choice to start smoking, and the answer will almost exclusively be an emphatic ‘no’. Smokers are aware, thinking, caring people, not fools and treating them like fools is not the way to help those who want to stop.

 

We all know that nicotine is addictive, but nicotine is gone from the body within about three days. What creates the problem however, is a simple mixture of psychological principles, simple but powerful. What individual smokers need to be able to create lasting behavioural change, is both an accurate picture of the drivers behind their behaviour, and more importantly, a measure of which of those drivers are the most powerful, and why. It’s science, not rocket science, but science nonetheless.

 

Threats can work, but often only temporarily, short term need more often than not wins out over the possibility of health gains far off in the future, take something away, and it becomes more desirable than ever. It’s a potent cocktail of sometimes unconscious elements, what is needed is a similarly potent motivation, and more importantly, allowing the ex-smoker to take personal responsibility for the decision.

 

Sigmund Freud is often regarded as the father of modern psychology, and he described dreams as ‘the royal road to the unconscious’. We are however, a society of instant gratification, of quick fixes, we want it all and we want it now. We don’t want to spend years studying our individual motivations or be involved in uncovering our unconscious drivers. Hypnosis offers us a way to tap into the unconscious mind and often change those behaviour patterns quickly. Hypnosis isn’t new, the ancient Egyptians used ‘sleep temples’ four thousand years ago, and modern hypnosis has developed into a pleasant and natural way to address problems and imbalances of the unconscious mind.

 

It’s all about changing the way the smoker feels about smoking at the root level, removing the feeling of being deprived, of losing something. It’s even in the language we use, we ‘give up’ smoking, rather than free ourselves of an unwanted behaviour and then rejoice in that freedom. If you’re relying on another form of nicotine, be it e-cigarettes, gum or the many other types of nicotine replacement therapy, you’ve substituted one unhelpful behaviour for another.

 

Labelling smokers as stupid, underpins the idea that smokers are all they are. They’re much more than that, they’re our parents, children, brothers and sisters. As society advances, we look to science to lead the way, it’s time that we looked to the Social Sciences to help with unwanted behaviours such as smoking, and emerged from ‘dark age’ thinking and prejudice ourselves.

What is Hypnosis?

In hypnosis the subconscious mind is encouraged to be heard in a safe, supportive environment

what is Hypnosis? In hypnosis the subconscious mind is encouraged to be heard in a safe, supportive environment

What is Hypnosis? At Talking-Cure, clients often present with some fundamental misunderstandings of the process. Hypnotherapy and psychotherapy using hypnosis (Hypno-psychotherapy), are very safe, and often pleasant methods of dealing with issues such as smoking, depression, anxiety, weight loss and phobias or fears. Here I address some of the issues and dispel some of the more common misconceptions surrounding hypnosis:

One common mistake is the belief that hypnosis is caused by the ‘power’ of the hypnotherapist. This is simply not the case; the reality is that the hypnotist may direct the client’s experience, but only to the degree that the client allows it. Another is that only certain people can be hypnotised, again this is incorrect, there may be differences in response, but at Talking-Cure, I aim to make every client’s experience of hypnosis safe and pleasant.

You may have heard the myth that ‘anyone who can be hypnotised is weak minded’. All of us enter spontaneous states of hypnosis at times; it’s a perfectly natural occurrence, have you ever daydreamed? In fact, the client chooses whether to enter hypnosis, and indeed when. Once you have been in hypnosis, you can choose when and if you want to be there again.

The idea of saying or doing something against the will is something else that worries some clients. At Talking-Cure, the emphasis is on ethical and sensitive application of hypnosis. The UKCP and NSHP codes of ethical conduct are at the heart of this practice. It is important to ensure your therapist is fully qualified, as there are currently no regulations on hypnotherapy in the North West, or the UK as a whole.

Hypnosis, used properly by a qualified practitioner is a safe and effective method of aiding change, the goal is to encourage self-reliance and personal power, not dependence on the therapy, something which concerns some clients. Similarly, it is a myth that you can become ‘stuck in hypnosis’, the client controls the experience at all times, by choice.

In hypnotherapy, the client is not asleep; a level of awareness is ever-present. Even in deep hypnosis, the client remains oriented to the external environment to some degree, and therefore always safe and in control. At Talking-Cure I take these concerns very seriously, and if you have any questions just contact me, I’ll be more than happy to answer them.

Mental Health Matters

The key to subconscious healing lies in your own hands, my aim is to help you find it

Mental Health Matters. The key to subconscious healing lies in your own hands, my aim is to help you find it

Welcome to the first of my therapy blog posts, where I introduce myself and share a vision for the future of therapy, and how you use it.

I’m smiling widely today, and here’s why, Talking-Cure’s new website is live. Talking-Cure is my vision, and the result of a great deal of hard work. It’s different, and this is a different approach to therapy for the North West, have a look at the site and see why. Talking-cure is founded in quality training, and the level of Client service, I believe, is second to none. In this blog I’ll be dispelling myths, sharing information and bringing you my own take on mental health and finding solutions to your issues, because that’s what I do.

I have always believed that the world of psychology has a lot to share with people from all walks of life who, for one reason or another, may never see the inside of a treatment room. That there is a profession aimed at understanding and alleviating suffering of the mind is a constant source of inspiration to me but unfortunately, therapy can often be seen as a last resort, if a consideration at all. Having a positive impact on peoples’ lives is important not only in times of crisis, but all of the time.

So it was that Talking-Cure came about. After years in the cut and thrust of the business world, I saw a lot of casualties. Burn-out or breakdown, call it what you will, the end result was always similar from a human perspective and yet the machine still demanded to be fed. So I embarked on a mission to understand why and to see if I could make a difference, and what I found was that the challenges of the commercial world were not unlike those faced by everyone in today’s society. Anyone, from any generation can find that for whatever reason, ‘the world is too much for them’.

If we want to get physically fit we hire a personal trainer or go to the gym, we eat well, we watch our vices, it’s prevention rather than cure. So, why do we not extend that self-care to how we think and feel? It’s largely an issue of image, seeing a therapist is still not seen as what ‘we do’, but why? And more importantly, what are we missing out on?

I see mental health as being underpinned by mental fitness. We can improve our lives and how we feel by how we think, and thinking well is a skill we can learn like any other, with potential benefits in physical health, productivity and quality of life. The aim of this blog is to look at some of those elements of modern life that cause the most issues, informing you and hopefully helping.

The world that we have created is fast, demanding, competitive and at times unforgiving, yet we are not physiologically much different from our parents and their parents, who had to cope in far less challenging environments. Our children will face demands we probably can’t imagine. One thing we can do is lift our heads from the sand and use those advances in psychotherapy and the social sciences not when it all begins to fall apart, as a sticking plaster, but as a daily supplement to build fitter, stronger minds, more robust coping mechanisms and improve our lives.

I hope you will join me.